The letters of your name are embedded under my skin.

I am falling in tears. Everytime, night and day. alone or not. Even if I'm at the university. I'm completely destroy. I keep the smile as I can but sometimes it's too hard and I scream and I cry. I feel empty because you're not here anymore and I feel filled because my stomac just wants to go off. I am trying but I know it's lost. I just can't live without you. I can't. I CAN'T!! CAN YOU HEAR THAT? CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? I am becoming a crazy girl and violent girl because you let me alone in the dark. "Goodbye into the light, like a Phantomrider I'm dying tonight. So dark and cold." I am crying all the time. It hurts so much. When I try to keep the pain inside of me I'm drowning and I feel the fever rises and then falls and then I'm cold. Betray my feelings at the temperature of my body and my head hurts so much from crying. It's not a metaphor, it's really what my body does.