I went to the hairdresser this morning. And I am very pleased with the outcome. Tomorrow I'll go to my sister, I'm in a hurry to see her and my lovely goddaughter with her father! I'll ski so much hope it will help me to be in order with my body. The prob, by my sister there aren't fruits and vegetables. So I'll take mine. Some of mine. The first dinner will be composite to a HUMBERGER. i'm so desappointed. But I hope the rest of the week will be better for that. My goddaughter spoke with me so much now and I really love her. She's my fate when I wanted to cut my vains so much time. I hope that to be with her could help to forget him. Just for few days. Brief. I'm not really fine, but because of what she said me last night, I understood that to feel good is the proud of my love for her. I don't know if my love is greather than the illness. But I'll try. Again and again and hope that one day everything will be ok for us if I know that she can't wait me and days to days she will forget me a little more. She probably will always love me but never like before. And I don't know if I'm ready for that. I think I'll never be.

He said to me things bad but he was right. I am a monster and I "live" in a fucking horrible bubble and I never thought about people I loved because I believed that I was bigger than a giant but I wasn't and now, I couldn't hope that he could coming back. I understand. He never will come back. Never.